“But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” Matthew 5:28
“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life” Proverbs 4:23
How many guys think some girls are super pretty? How many girls think some guys are really cute? Most of us can agree that people of the opposite gender are attractive. Guess what….there’s NOTHING wrong with that. I have seen many decent looking gentlemen in my time, and I’m positive some gentlemen have thought the same about me. There is nothing wrong with thinking someone is attractive. God did create us to be attracted to each other, but not in the ways we’ve twisted it to be.
There is a beautiful bond between a man and a woman, and no….I’m not talking about marriage. I talking about a kinship. When we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior we are adopted into the family of God (Romans 8:15). God is our Father, and His children are our brothers and sisters in Christ. We are bound to each other, not by law, but by the blood of our Redeemer. He has united us as one body to spread the goodness of His love. (John 15:16-17). We desperately need each other.
Problem. Guys and girls, we desire to be more than brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s a deeper heart issue. Somewhere deep inside of us is a beautiful desire for a companion which is a God-given desire (which is good). The devil wants nothing more than to steal your joy so he places the fear of never finding the companion in the back of your mind. The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. With this subtle fear in the back of our mind we start looking for security, satisfaction, and acceptance from people in ways that they are not created to fulfill. We start looking for our companion out of our insecurities. When a pure desire becomes tainted with fear it corrupts the relationship. Lust is one of the many results of when the purity of love is tainted with fear. (Lust is basically the strong desire for something. You can have a lust for money, fame, love. It’s not a healthy desire. It’s roots are based on the YOUR satisfaction.)
“Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct” 1 Peter 1:13-15
“For as a man thinks in his heart so is he” Proverbs 23:7
If we choose to believe the lie that we will never find anyone, then we will find ourselves lusting after love for the rest of our lives. But if we guard our hearts by bringing our desires to Jesus, and believe in His finished work His peace that surpasses all understanding will guard our heart and mind (Philippians 4:6-7). When we trust Him with the desires of our heart He takes our heart and purifies it with His love, transforming the desire of our heart into something even greater than before. “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart, commit your way to the LORD trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass” Psalm 37:4-5.
“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid” John 14:27
“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Fathers commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.” John 15:9-11
“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends” John 15:12-13
“Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart” 1 Peter 1:22
God has placed brothers and sister in Christ to help us grow, to love us, and protect us. We need each other. When we trust God with the desires of our heart that purifies us from the inside out allowing us to have a kinship that is completely pure and covered in His grace. The attraction we may feel toward one another most likely is the love of Jesus flowing from them, receive that love. That is healthy. We were created to love each other fervently, and to encourage each other! If God has placed a brother or sister in your path, embrace them, encourage and love them. But do not let your heart be troubled, God will perfect that which concerns you. “What God has cleansed you must not call common” Acts 11:9
WARNING: “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet and turn and tear you in pieces” Matthew 7:6
“Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in the word, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity” 1 Timothy 4:12