March 26, 2012
A Matter of the Heart

"But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" Matthew 5:28

"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life" Proverbs 4:23

How many guys think some girls are super pretty? How many girls think some guys are really cute? Most of us can agree that people of the opposite gender are attractive. Guess what….there’s NOTHING wrong with that. I have seen many decent looking gentlemen in my time, and I’m positive some gentlemen have thought the same about me. There is nothing wrong with thinking someone is attractive. God did create us to be attracted to each other, but not in the ways we’ve twisted it to be.

There is a beautiful bond between a man and a woman, and no….I’m not talking about marriage. I talking about a kinship. When we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior we are adopted into the family of God (Romans 8:15). God is our Father, and His children are our brothers and sisters in Christ. We are bound to each other, not by law, but by the blood of our Redeemer. He has united us as one body to spread the goodness of His love. (John 15:16-17). We desperately need each other.

Problem. Guys and girls, we desire to be more than brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s a deeper heart issue. Somewhere deep inside of us is a beautiful desire for a companion which is a God-given desire (which is good). The devil wants nothing more than to steal your joy so he places the fear of never finding the companion in the back of your mind. The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. With this subtle fear in the back of our mind we start looking for security, satisfaction, and acceptance from people in ways that they are not created to fulfill. We start looking for our companion out of our insecurities. When a pure desire becomes tainted with fear it corrupts the relationship. Lust is one of the many results of when the purity of love is tainted with fear. (Lust is basically the strong desire for something. You can have a lust for money, fame, love. It’s not a healthy desire. It’s roots are based on the YOUR satisfaction.)

“Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct” 1 Peter 1:13-15

“For as a man thinks in his heart so is he” Proverbs 23:7

 If we choose to believe the lie that we will never find anyone, then we will find ourselves lusting after love for the rest of our lives. But if we guard our hearts by bringing our desires to Jesus, and believe in His finished work His peace that surpasses all understanding will guard our heart and mind (Philippians 4:6-7). When we trust Him with the desires of our heart He takes our heart and purifies it with His love, transforming the desire of our heart into something even greater than before. “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart, commit your way to the LORD trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass” Psalm 37:4-5.

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid” John 14:27

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Fathers commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.” John 15:9-11

“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends” John 15:12-13

“Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart” 1 Peter 1:22

God has placed brothers and sister in Christ to help us grow, to love us, and protect us. We need each other. When we trust God with the desires of our heart that purifies us from the inside out allowing us to have a kinship that is completely pure and covered in His grace. The attraction we may feel toward  one another most likely is the love of Jesus flowing from them, receive that love. That is healthy. We were created to love each other fervently, and to encourage each other! If God has placed a brother or sister in your path, embrace them, encourage and love them. But do not let your heart be troubled, God will perfect that which concerns you. “What God has cleansed you must not call common” Acts 11:9

WARNING: “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet and turn and tear you in pieces” Matthew 7:6

“Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in the word, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity” 1 Timothy 4:12

January 23, 2012
How He loves

Every day I provide an opportunity for you to be taught. In each day there is a difficulty in which you have the chance to learn how to let go and let My grace flow through you. These are the moments where My strength courses through your veins and gives you the power to press on. As you are pressed by these difficulties you are being a vessel in which My strength is glorified and My love is lavished upon you. You have opened the door to my light and as by beams fall upon you it gives you the strength for a new day a new hope. It also allows you to trust Me with each difficulty a new day brings. Whether big or small, My grace is always sufficient. The key is when a moment of difficulty arises although tempting to take it upon yourself, release it into My hands. Then I will mold the situation into a fountain of My favor and blessing. I will lavish My mercy and faithfulness on you. Let Me place My fingerprints on the days present and the days to come. In this rest assured that I am taking you into My consideration, and I have such a marvelous plan for you. Such a marvelous plan where you will need to be receptive to My love and grace to carry you through. In that you will find freedom, and success.

December 30, 2011
To My Future Wife:


You frustrate me. You make me mad. You tease me. You make me want to kill you…and yet, I still love you and want to be with you. You must be the one. 

Oh yes, man of brilliance:)

(Source: bedlammagazine)

December 30, 2011
To My Future Wife:


You, me, and God can do anything.

This guy has got the right idea!

(Source: bedlammagazine)

December 21, 2011
Living life in “repeat”? What?

Why do we find ourselves in a constant battle? Why do we find ourselves in the same vicious cycle? It’s almost as if our life is a replay button with every scenerio comes new characters. Same concepts, same executions, same results….new people.

It’s frustrating. No matter what you do you find yourself in the same pickle.

"Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that produce war in your members…” James 4:1-4

So…..our problems come from the things in which we desire? Yup.

"Abstain from fleshly lusts which war against your soul" 1 Peter 2:11

It’s not bad to have desires, but when your desires start to become a priority and God’s desires become and option that’s where the problem is.

We struggle with our desires because they are of the flesh (again desires are NOT bad, but they are a part of our human nature). Our fleshly lusts war against our soul for the very purpose that we have to lay down our desires for His. Our flesh wants to be satisfied…it thinks if it gets what it “wants” that it will be satisfied. The thing is about flesh is… goes off of our feelings, our emotion. It’s flesh…. it wants to feel completion. The satisfaction of completion comes in laying down our desires to raise to the higher standard of His desires. We are NOT fleshly beings, we were not created to be maintained in these bodies they are temporary, just like everything we desire in this world…in this life. We are spiritual beings, our desires are deep and we long for eternity, it’s who we are. Our desires are so deep and intense for eternity a longing that can only be satisfied by the touch of the Lord’s hand and being saturated in His loving presence, that we try to fill those desires with the things of this world thinking that will satisfy. This is where the conflict begins. We take our fleshly desires, place them in the location of our heart that desires eternity and get mad when we find it doesn’t belong there. We start to question God, why things aren’t going the way we want them to. We wonder why we are overwhelmed with fear, worry and anxiety. Maybe because we’ve tried to allow the temporary things of this world to fill a spot that only the promise of eternity with our Heavenly Father can complete.

We have managed to cling to the world’s philosophies when it comes to accepting fleshly pursuites. We’ve forgotten who we are. We have conformed ourselves to that way the world thinks. Convincing ourselves it’s truth, but we all know deep down that we desire so much more, and no matter what we do we will never be truly content in this world, unless we truly lay down the very thing that is holding us back. Our desires.

"For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the world and loses his own soul" Matthew 16:25-26

"For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the spirit will of the spirit reap everlasting life" Galations 6:8

Now that you have truly laid your desires down this is where is gets exciting. When in the Bible it talks of various trials, I honestly believe what they are referring to is not only being persecuted for the stands we are taking, but also the fact that we have to deny ourselves to take those stands. That I believe is the trials in which they speak of.

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be you have been grieved by various trials that the genuiness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him yet believing you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, recieving the end our your faith- the salvation of your souls" 1 Peter 1:5-9

"My brethren count it all joy when you fall into various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking in nothing" James 1:2-4

Therefore my beloved brethren be steadfast, immovable always abounding in the work of the Lord knowing that your labor is not in vain” 1 Corinthians 15:58

The sacrifices we make for the Lord, none of them are going to go to waste. God knows what you need when you need it and He will give it to you in such a pure, undefiled way.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning" James 1:17

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4

His best for us is eternal. It’s deeper, more intimate. Don’t settle for a life that will waste away. You can live the life you so deeply desire. A promise of neverending love, hope, and joy is right in front of you. "Choose this day whom you will serve" Joshua 24:15

December 21, 2011


Normally when I’m in a bad mood I think about why I’m in a bad mood, then I think “how does this benefit me to maintain me holding onto this bitterness/anger inside”. I realize life is just a breath, and how even in stressful situations it gives me the opportunity to be patient and trust God with everything that’s going on in my life. Honestly, just thinking about God’s goodness, cranking up some worship music and talking to my Savior…..that automatically breaks off my bad mood and He allows me to see things in a new light.

December 16, 2011

tmfs: Right now we are in a freeze frame, when the ice melts that’s we know the Light of the Son is shining upon us. Then we can start moving foward. Deal?

December 6, 2011

To my future spouse

I don’t want you to be my everything. I don’t want you to be the very reason I’m breathing. I am not desperate for you, nor do i want your whole existance to be based on our meeting. I don’t want you to be so wrapped up in me that your whole world stops on my account. I don’t want to take your breath away. I don’t want to be the reason why you smile. I do not want to be your everything.

I do not desire any of those things.

My darling, our God is our everything. Period. To require that of which belongs to our God from eachother is more from either one of us can handle, a pressure that we don’t need to have. God is God, He is our everything….let’s keep it that way.

You are not the reason I am breathing. Vice versa, because our God is the breath of life, His beauty and his beauty alone has the ability to take our breath away, or breathe life a fresh and a new. I do not want to take your breath away, on the contrary I want the beauty of the Lord that radiates inside of me to breathe life into your very being and cause you to awaken more to His beautiful love. Vice versa.

I am not desperate for you. My desperation and dependance is on the Lord in the fullest extent. He is my Lover, my everything. Without Him I cannot survive. Literally. I am desperate for Him, His love is the only thing that gets me through the day.

My darling, these things I couldn’t have said a few months ago. Sure, I’m excited to be married to my best friend. I am excited to have a man by my side in ministry, love and commitment, but that is no longer the beginning of my existance. I used to make love my priority, but I have come to find that no matter how “perfect” everything is in my life, if I don’t have God at my center, my destination….I have nothing. To what profit if a man gains the world and loses his soul? I don’t want to be married and come to find that it wasn’t what I expected. What I mean by that is alot of people get married and have this expectation, then end up getting divorced years later. Why? They placed they’re lifes completion on a person, they placed expectations that could not be maintained. We try to put our spouses in God’s place, funny joke cause… one can take God’s place. My love, I love you I truly do and I don’t even know you. I will not settle. Nor will I try to place you as God in my life. Marriage and love are beautiful things, when they are viewed in the right context. You are not my existence. You do not complete me. You are simply an example of the depth of the love the Lord has for me.

November 4, 2011
A call. To a higher standard

"And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” Romans 12:2

We live in a brutal world. A world where we feel obligated to laugh at perverted jokes, and pretend to be something we’re not just to be “accepted” with the people around us. I had become brainwashed to this way of life.

In my previous friendships I was not accepted for who I was. I was the “odd ball” out of the group. (Generally I am shy/quiet at first with anyone I meet and it takes MONTHS for me to come out of my shell.) But this was ridiculous. I literally was just a third wheel. The only way they would accept me is if I joined their course jesting. Even then….it didn’t do a whole lot. I felt so strained by those people, I felt like no matter what I did it was never enough. I never knew why they didn’t like me, and I never knew why I couldn’t be myself. Deep down I knew I was compromising my standards.

 I chose to spend three years of my life surrounded by people who actually didn’t care about my well-being, I chose to spend three years of my life looking to be accepted by people who clearly would never accept me. I chose to participate in perverted conversations, I chose to lower all my standards. I chose to spend three years being someone I clearly wasn’t. I chose to be conformed by the world.

God intervened. He helped me say goodbye to the very thing that was holding me back.

Over the past several months the Lord has been training my mind to be fixed on Him and Him alone. He has quietly started calling me to a higher standard. Have I ignored it from time to time, yes. Sometimes when He calls us to go higher we have to lay down some baggage to climb higher. Some things we want to keep, some things we’ll throw down in a heart beat. I’m glad He’s patient.

Do any of you remember reading this when you were a kid?

  • Watch your thoughts, for they become your words
  • Watch your words, for they become actions
  • Watch you actions, for they become habits
  • Watch your habits, for they become character
  • Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny

This is like sitting in a class with master yoda lol. This is legit.

"As a man thinks in his heart, so is he" Proverbs 23:7

"Finally bretheren whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy meditate on these things" Philippians 4:8

The Lord asks us to think on these things so we can prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

"Give attention to my words, incline your ears to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart, for they are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh. Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it spring the issues of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put perverse lips far from you. Let your eyelids look straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established. Do not turn to the right of left; remove your foot from evil." Proverbs 4:20-27

Let’s allow God to transform us by the renewing of our minds. Let’s trust Him, and know that He leads us into all truth, and His promptings are lead by love.

P.S. if the people you are surrounded with don’t inspire you to rise up and take the challenge to truly live for God, you have to change who you are to be their friend, and compromise what you believe….. then they are not worth your time. You deserve God’s best, let Him bring the right people into your life, as He did for me.

In matters of ministering to those people, God will lead you to them and show you how to cause them to rise to higher standards. God isn’t gonna let you drown…I promise. Be careful, it’s easy to give in. Surround yourself with godly guidence, and don’t try to conquer this world on your own. We need eachother.

November 3, 2011
Dreams and desires….surrender?

"If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me" Matthew 16:24

We all have dreams and desires. Mine is to be married, and to serve with my husband in ministry. Me and him serving our Lord together. Sounds like perfection to me! Some of you may share the same desire, some may have a completely different desire. Either way, you can relate cause we all have desires and dreams…it’s part of who we are as humans.

I have found that my dreams and desires can distract me from God. Now, I’m not saying that dreams are bad. I mean come on, me desiring to serve my God with my husband by my side….there’s NOTHING wrong with that. But there is something wrong when all I can think about is “Who is he?”, “Have I met him yet?”, “If I have met him, how is everything gonna come together”. First of all, I have allowed myself to become a victom of analyzation and worry…which automatically proves I am not trusting God with my future.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7

Denying yourself, to follow him is equivelent to surrendering your desires into His hands. He is asking us to lay down everything. Why? Because He loves us. How can He loves us if He wants us to lay down our desires? Because when we lay down our desires we become so much more dependant on Him, seeking Him wholeheartedly, for answers, comfort, and strength. In this process He opens our eyes to His blessings, and leads us into a place where we are basking in His glory, in His completion. And not even striving or working for it, God gives us exactly what we needed, but in a whole and completed form. He has orchastrated Him blessing in your life, and all it took was a step of surrender and trust. A complete willingness to follow wherever He leads.

Think of Abraham. God promised him Isaac, God asked Abraham to sacrifice his only son. Abraham trusted God, In that moment of surrender God made a way.

Abraham never doubted God’s goodness, he knew the promises the Lord had given him, he simply trusted. Was it easy…no. But because of His obedience and trust, he is the father of many nations.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4

His peace surpasses all understanding, know that He is God. He’s holding your hand. He’s got this. Relax, trust Him.

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